I’ll take socks with that

@thepooluk

Or the alternate title to this post would be This Picture Shows My Dreams Coming True.

It’s Day 2 of London Fashion Week and Sibling of London were on the catwalk with their SS16 show. Every single model was wearing socks and it was the physical manifestation of my most private desire made real. As I was telling my mother, this proves to me there is a god and that this particular god loves socks as much as I do.

Of course I wasn’t born with socks on but I might as well have been. I love them. And this isn’t because my feet are hideous gnarled hob-goblin feet, they are actually pretty nice, but because I really, really love socks. It could be the height of summer and a whopping 35 degrees centigrade in London and I will be wearing socks. Flip flops and open toe sandals are only things I wear under duress and only if Toms are well and truly out of the question. As I have quickly learnt, Toms are almost never not appropriate, even to business meetings. Especially in business meetings where everyone else looks on in jealousy at my socked, comfortably shoe-ed feet. In fact there are only a few occasions when the socks really do have to come off

  • Any and all water or beach based activities, and
  • Bathing

And that’s it. I know many of you don’t wear Toms with socks and just slip them on but I find the thought of this actually shocking. No wonder your Toms smell – if you wore socks you wouldn’t have the canvas absorbing your sweat. Even people who don’t wear Toms and instead go sockless in trainers or brogues, don’t you have a puddle of sweat collecting all along the bottom of your shoe? If you wore socks this wouldn’t be a problem and your shoes would carry on smelling minty fresh.

I even wear socks under tights.

Yes, I do and I can hear you all mocking me, throwing up your arms in disgust and admiring you sockless feet, but let me explain. I wear socks under tights because I love socks and tights really make my feet smell. As explanations go it isn’t the most convincing but I don’t care – go ahead and throw your arms up. Wiggle your sockless toes.

But there are some shoes which really make socks a no-no and even I haven’t been able to make it work. And that’s with stilettoes. Well actually with most high heeled shoes unless boots. Socks and stilettoes isn’t something people do and when I am faced with the choice I actually have to do a cost-benefit analysis and choose on or the other – the epic shoes which will collect feet sweat or another pair of shoes with which I can wear socks.

I’ll leave you to guess which wins.

But with Sibling’s show all dilemmas are off. I can wear the loveliest stilettoes in the world and a pair of really long socks too, preferably in non-complimentary colours. This, to me at least, is the marker of something really relevant happening right this very moment. I’m not exaggerating (much) when I say it will change my life, though I am being very dramatic. It has given me permission to mix socks with traditionally non-socked shoes and I love it.

Long live socks.

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