Time to get my focus back

I have lost my focus and I think my impromptu two week holiday has a lot to do with this. I am starting to over think everything (especially instagram) and really don’t know which way to go. In both my work and my life, I have no idea what I should do first. There are so many little things competing for my attention and they have become like background noise – always there and not worthy of my attention. If I don’t have  massive goal or deadline coming up then really, what’s the point?  This is probably absolutely the worst thing that can happen when you work full time and blog in your spare time. My focus is so necessary for me to achieve my personal and professional goals. Actually it’s vital and I need to get it back.

I spend a lot of my time trying to find this focus by looking outwards, especially on the gateway drug that is instagram and asking the heavens why I am not more popular and why I don’t have more followers. I watch person after person getting opportunity after opportunity because of their social media profiles, getting more and more frustrated that the same doesn’t happen for me. Actually, right now on my instgram I can’t seem to get over 1,900 followers – it’s driving me insane. I am so confused with what I need to do to make my social media account a success (what exactly is my definition of success?)

I NEED TO STOP THIS.

This constant comparison is stealing my focus. More than that it is stealing my joy. I am actually groaning as I type this because I know how it sounds but I need to start looking inwards more and more to regain my focus. Other people’s photos aren’t going to drive me. Yes, I love being inspired by them but not having as successful an account doesn’t make me less of a person – something I have shockingly actually thought.

What do I offer at work?

What do I offer with this blog?

What do I offer full stop?

I am going to start taking some time to answer these questions and answer them honestly. I want to figure out what exactly I want to be known for and then how I can go about achieving that. I think my focus is linked to direction and I have lost that in recent months.

Time to get it back!

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